Monday, June 04, 2007

James's tour Ideas

As James doesn't have a blog, i need to publicise these myself. My ideas are even better but i don't want to share them until they're patented. More to come as they are newly minted on the road.

1. let's not drive 14 hours across the country, let's just settle in Missoula and become farmers
2. let's make some alterations to the van and create a hovercraft, thereby sailing up the river and avoiding the traffic. special bonus is that we will shadow the route of lewis and clarke
3. rather than playing a show tonight, let's see if we can find a wolf sanctuary and look at some wolves, it would be more fun for us
4. let's drink gin in the van, if a police officer stops us and finds us with illegal open containers of alcohol (which is of course an imprisonable offence in the usa), we can just put on really posh english accents and he'll let us go. don't worry, we'll handle it.

i want to do all of these btw


kelley said...

While I am from Venus,
you are from Mars.
We live in different worlds,
yet see the same stars.
Your presense to me
is like a luminous star.
So I simply admire you
from afar.

Thanks for the kiss in Chicago. My friend bet me $100 I couldn't get another one on your 2008 tour. I'll split the money with you if I win ;)

Anonymous said...

That's my boy. An absolute genius. Not very practical, but genius.

Allison said...

I did research amongst my friends for our split editorial in Guns and Ammo, and I realized that I was coming at the topic from the wrong angle - literally. We've been thinking about this hammock as a obstacle to be overcome, when in fact we should have been thinking of it as an aide. A very sage friend of mine suggested that the hammock could be used like a swing, if someone stands upright and handles the manoeuvring. I had no idea you had a blog, by the way. I was going to leave a comment on The Clientele myspace page and hope it found it's way to you. But being the good journalist that I am, I spell-checked your name with google and it led me here. I suppose I will wander around and do some reading now that I've found it. Oh and for my farm, to begin with, I will need five hedgehogs named Jacques-Louis, Honoré, François, Guy, and Jean-Auguste-Dominique.

the Clientele said...

i think you may have cracked it. but i do worry what nefarious purposes the hedgehogs may be put to.

Dave Rawkblog said...

Please come play more shows in Los Angeles. You guys were incredible.

Or New York. I'm not picky.

Allison said...

Hedgehogs put to nefarious purposes? Surely you jest! I merely thought that I could put their insectivorous eating habits to good use in the garden. Plus, they are considered good luck in a certain part of Bavaria, where, as a younger girl, I spent several happy summers, and they bring back very fond memories.

norman said...

thank you for a fantastic show at the bowery ballroom here in NYC last friday! looking forward to many happy returns! oh yes... happy belated birthday mel!!!

lel said...

you thaught me what's good music. i think i'd be pleased to know that you changed the life of a 11 years old brazilian boy.

you should come down here.

Robin said...

James' power haunts both me and my two clouds. He is very special and has fun ideas. Eh Do-lahh....

the Clientele said...

and now the creme de la creme: the crown jewel of all our ideas;

let's say you wanted to smuggle drugs over the US / Canadian border. Not that anyone in the Clientele would attempt something so foolish, not to mention dangerous to your mental and physical health, but let's say for the sake of argument you hypothetically did. Wherever you hid your stash in the car, the customs officials are likely to find it.

So - why not build a car completely from pure cocaine? it's the old can't-see-the-forest-for-the-trees double-switch. They'd never notice!

norman said...

it's not a bad idea and although it is "highly practical", the real problem is that "the product" would then have a slight, faint gasoline after taste.

that and getting your car through a car wash would certainly prove to be an interesting experience.

Kali said...

per the smuggling van - it seems you have missed out on american culture a wee bit there... go rent "Up in Smoke" by the always effervescing Cheech & Chong!

ha! and per "references", using the word effervescing makes me think of Syd Barrett (& his elephant song of course) and he had a knack of incorporating the classics in his lyrics as well. such good company to keep. you madmen.